When asked who my favourite child is, I often respond jokingly with “my favourite child depends on the day”. It was a truthful statement as some days the kids are not my favourite and I am sure that some days I am not their favourite person in the world either. I learned that my love was conditional and differed based on their behaviour. I wondered if this is how I viewed God’s love for me. That somehow God’s love towards me would change based on my own works, yet I know this is not true. In Romans 5:8 it says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”. Praise God His love for us is not conditional on our works as we are sinful human beings. There is nothing we can do to earn God’s love, yet God chose to love us unconditionally.
This past year God has given me a greater understanding of His fatherly love through serving at Kingston-Galloway. It has been a joy and blessing to watch the kids and youth grow up, but it has also been challenging and heartbreaking walking through various seasons of change alongside them. We strive to make our programs a safe space for kids to be kids in which they are comfortable being themselves. Yet our kids struggle with having a dual identity as they often act completely different outside of our programs. There is immense societal pressure amongst the kids in the community to keep a tough exterior in order to protect themselves. There seems to be a common fear that if you show any weakness or vulnerability you will be bullied or taken advantage of.
Many of our older kids are at a crossroads in which they must decide which path they want to take as it is impossible to live two completely different lives. They can choose the easier path which succumbs to the negative influence of their peers around them, or perhaps they will choose the narrow path.
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”- Matthew 7:13-14.
Yet choosing to follow Jesus will be difficult as they will have to resist temptation and stand up for what they believe in by being set apart from the world.
Last year our children learned about the fruits of the spirit and we encouraged the kids to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The kids often found it difficult to understand why they should show love to those who have wronged them. They said “If someone hits me, I will get my get backs (revenge)”. I tried to explain that Jesus teaches us to not seek revenge and instead love our enemies. “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven”- Matt 5:44-45. During the summer, I had to practice what I preached.
This past summer I was involved in an unprovoked TTC incident in which racial slurs and physical threats were directed at me for no justifiable reason. I prayed that God would give me the wisdom to know what to do to keep the rest of the campers safe in this high-intensity situation. As we debriefed the kids about the situation they were shaken, not out of fear but out of a desire for revenge. This incident did not phase them as it was nothing they haven’t seen before. What surprised them more was how calm I was not to fight back with them despite all that they said and did to me. They could not understand why I did not fight back. But I knew that any retaliation to defend my honour, pride and dignity as an Asian person and human being would have only escalated the problem. It would be selfish to do so as I would have only put everyone else at risk for a moment of the personal satisfaction of getting revenge. It was not worth it. Although this incident would have justified a physical response according to the kids. I chose to respond to anger with gentleness and self-control. I chose to approach a chaotic situation with peace and patience through the power of the Holy Spirit. My response stuck with two of the individuals on the bus who recognized what they did was wrong.
As difficult as this TTC incident was, it opened my eyes to see the type of situations the kids deal with on a daily basis and how difficult it is to choose to follow Jesus. I was upset that the kids had to hear their hateful language but I was thankful that the kids were able to witness firsthand the power of the Holy Spirit as I would not have been able to handle this on my own strength. The kids were able to see a different way to respond to hatred which was so countercultural to what they knew. This summer I earned some respect as the kids saw that I practiced what I preached in a real What Would You Do scenario.
I am not a parent, but I have had a glimpse of what that may look like through loving the kids at KG. I want what’s best for them, yet I know that I can’t shelter them from the world and they must make decisions on their own. I can guide and direct them to the path which will bring them light and life, but they must choose to follow Jesus on their own. Some of our children have started getting in trouble in which they are disobeying their guardians, breaking rules and hanging out with negative influences. It is a difficult situation as the guardians want what is best for their children. Yet the kids often see consequences as an overreaction as they do not fully understand the potential repercussions of their actions. It is difficult for children to understand the heart of a mother/father/guardian as they feel trapped and restricted by rules. Yet rules are meant to protect and preserve morality not to be used to oppress or exploit others. In fact, God’s commandments were to ultimately protect the relationships between people and between the creator and His creation. Hopefully one day our children will come to understand that upholding rules is an act of love, as it would not be truly loving if everything was permissible.
As I witness the path of life some of my children are choosing to take, it breaks my heart as I know the likely repercussions of their decisions. Due to the nature of our community some of these decisions may have long term impacts on their life, yet how can you fully comprehend the gravity of the situation as a child? I am sure that it hurts God’s heart when we choose to disobey Him and make decisions that will lead us to harm. Yet God would not be very loving if He controlled our lives and made every decision for us as we would no longer have freewill. God is Sovereign and He knows what decisions we will make but he cannot make them for us.
As I work with the children at KG I have a small glimpse of God’s unconditional love as a father. Sometimes I wish I could shelter the kids from the pain, suffering and evil of the world, yet this is not possible. Sometimes I also wish that the children would have a full understanding of the consequences of their decisions, yet this is also not possible. The only thing we can do is plant the truth of the Gospel and show and share the love of Jesus with the limited time we are given with them. Some of our children and youth have come and gone, yet even though they have gone astray they will always be welcomed back with arms open wide. In the same sentiment we also know that even when we sin, make mistakes and go astray we can always turn back to God whose arms are open wide ready to welcome us back home.
We pray that our children, youth and families will experience the love of God personally. May they know that they are fully known and fully loved by God. We pray that one day they will accept the greatest gift of all, Jesus, as their Lord and Saviour.