The Tabernacle

Written by: Katherine Ma, Outreach Worker in Willowtree

Tabernacle is a funny word. It’s a big word and one that we tend to not talk about a lot. Yet do you realize how big of a theme it was in both the Old and New Testaments?

As I was writing the curriculum for this year under the topic of ‘tabernacle’, I first thought that it’s a foreign thing to teach kids. I didn’t grow up in the church, but I have served my fair share of time in church summer camps. I can’t remember a single time we even brought up the word ‘tabernacle’ to the kids. Yet as I explored the word (and The Word) more and more, I was surprised by how relevant and important it was to know.

See, the tabernacle was seen as the place where God Himself dwelled in the Old Testament. God was among the Israelites in a symbolic way, but it also manifested in the physical location of the tabernacle. It was the tent where Yahweh chose to remain. So holy was this place that only the highest priest could enter through the heavy curtains after extensive cleansing rituals, and even then there was a possibility that any amount of uncleanliness could lead to the priest’s death in the presence of the Holiest of Holies. This truly relates to the fear of God.

So what does it mean for us now? And for Toronto City Mission, for the families and kids, we share our lives with?

“So the Word became human and made his home among us… And we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father’s one and only Son.” -John 1:14

Doesn’t that sound familiar? Except... What about the cleansing rituals? The curtain? I quote the song, At The Cross by Chris Tomlin:

“You tore the veil, You made a way
When You said that it is done”

Before Jesus, God dwelled in a specific, closed-off place. Not because He was selfish and distant, but because we were too unclean and affected by sin to be in His presence without suffering. Now with Jesus, after His sacrifice, we can be with Him - truly with Him, in true relationship with Him.

And this is what I hope the kids to glean from this lesson. That God is truly Emmanuel, God among us. Their lives may be affected by distant parents - emotionally or physically - and the brokenness of this world, but may they know that God is right there with them. And He is so, so near.

Lesson on Humility

By: Katherine Ma | Outreach Worker in Willowtree

The start of the school year was an uncertain one. Willowtree hit some speed bumps in getting space secured for programs, and it was unclear when it would happen. It’s tempting for me in these times to wonder why God would allow things to be ‘in the way’ of the work that I think is good for the Kingdom - does God not want us to have programs? And in other times when circumstances continue to press against me, I start taking it personally. I ask God what He wants from me. Sometimes, I listen to sermons or ask other people for advice, and sometimes I get this answer: God wants to humble me.

Humble me? Am I not humble enough from all these things that are against me? I feel like such a failure sometimes that I can’t do these things. I already have no self-confidence, so what more do I have to be humbled? But I learned that this isn’t really what God means by humility.

Basically: Self-loathing is not humility. Thinking you are less than others is not humility. Denying yourself of grace is not humility. I used to get that mixed up - okay, I still do. I mean I knew that beating myself up mentally all the time wasn’t exactly what God wanted for me in humility, but maybe it was close. If humility was the gold standard, then maybe self-loathing was the Amazon knock-off. However, now I believe that instead of a pale imitation, humility and self-loathing are two entirely different things.

The reason for the mix-up is mostly due to a sense of unhealthy guilt. Healthy guilt leads to repentance; unhealthy guilt just leads to inward and cyclical self-focused self-pity. Focusing solely on your faults is not particularly better than focusing solely on your abilities (pride) - both look away from God and inwards to yourself. Unhealthy guilt leading to unhealthy self-loathing is an attempt to say to God, ‘I am not good enough for your grace.’ This is a layered statement. First, it says that you either know yourself better than God or you are a worthier judge than God, and second, it says that you don’t understand grace. Funnily enough, it is a true statement. We can’t be good enough for grace - it’s grace, and grace is undeserved. No one can be good enough for grace, or else it would cease to be grace. So perhaps the first step to moving from unhealthy guilt to seeing ourselves rightly through the lens of grace is to change the meaning of that statement. ‘God, I am not good enough for your grace, but you give it to me nonetheless.’

Humility then could be defined as this: The ability to see ourselves rightly. Not more than we are, and not less than we are. Yes, this is a big ask - how are we to find out who we are? But the first step cannot be to ask ourselves, but rather to ask our Maker.

“Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory.”
Romans 5:1-2 NLT

Ordinary Grace

Olivia has been attending KIC and EPIC programs since she was in grade 1. She is now in grade 5, and she has a twin sister. When I first met Olivia I thought: 1. This is going to get really confusing and 2. Could she please stop messaging insults to her sister? 

I call her story Ordinary Grace because from the outside, nothing extraordinary is going on. She comes to programs and not much else happens. But I am so thankful for this ‘ordinary’ grace of knowing her. Olivia is very different from her sister - her sister likes to be on her own or spend time with her friends or siblings, but Olivia is always eager to join programs. She doesn’t show her face on Zoom very often, so she may seem shy, but she is always a friendly person to be around. She enjoys spending time with volunteers, whether she’s already familiar with them or not.

Her mother works a lot so she’s often left home alone with her older siblings. Her siblings are quite chaotic and so she doesn’t have much quiet and personal time to herself. More recently, we were able to set up a scholarship for math tutoring for Olivia. While she does okay in school, we thought this would benefit her, especially during this pandemic season a lot of students lack one-on-one attention. The assistance her personal tutor gives her can help identify her weaknesses and her strengths as well, and provide tailored guidance. I’m so impressed that even though she says she doesn’t like math, she was willing to sign up. However, tutoring has proven to be a challenge as she often becomes  distracted by her siblings to the point where she muted herself and only used the chat function. She has also missed the second session because she was doing chores instead. 

Another struggle has been for myself personally. Many of the kids are Zoom-fatigued and attendance has been lower than in the past. But because of the few kids we have, and especially because of Olivia, I still find joy and purpose in our mission at Willowtree. On the outside, it may seem like the outlook is negative in terms of numbers, but viewing the situation with the perspective that Christ gives us will give us reason to praise. God loves each and every one of these children so much that He sacrificed all He had for them. Therefore, we can continue to bring this love of God into the lives of kids like Olivia, despite adversity and doubt. At the end of the day, even to have just a single child choose to live their life for the King - it is worth it all.

How to pray when you don't feel like praying

By: Katherine Ma | Outreach worker, Willowtree

Why might Christians not pray as much as they should? The Bible says to pray continually. We all know we should pray, and pray often. Yet I have heard so many people, and personally struggle, with even just remembering to pray once or twice a day. So people know they should pray, but don’t - and I think the reason is a matter of importance. Of priorities, of weight, of worth. It’s hard to admit - perhaps we just don’t pray enough because we don’t think prayer is worthy of our time.

It’s likely not a conscious thought: most people can say with conviction that prayer is of utmost importance. Instead, it’s not about needing to convince yourself with facts and knowledge, but letting it reach deep into your heart. And this is a work of only God Himself.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone” - Ezekiel 36:26

For me, this is a hard teaching. I’m the kind of person who wants to know steps 1 and 2. Who wants to know the details of the grand plan that only God knows and with infinite wisdom, has decided we are better off not knowing. I want to get from A to B; God wants me to trust Him with His own path. But eventually I accept that I can’t demand my instant gratification, but instead I am here in this present moment - broken, not yet there. So how can we pray in these places, when we know where we ought to be, but know we need to wait to be there? How do we pray in the waiting?

I don’t think I can give you a one-size-fits-all tool, but I found something that really helps me: Guided prayers. The Lord’s Prayer is a great guided prayer (after all Jesus Himself instructed His disciples to pray in this way). There are also many others found inside and outside the Bible that can serve as powerful tools in different situations. Many people are familiar with ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. However, in times where you can barely manage to fill in the blanks, you might benefit from a simple prayer like the one below.

1. You.

   • Start off with your focus on God. See the world through the lens of who He is, and you will see the world through the lens of reality.

   • Who is God? What qualities from Scripture do you remember about God?

   • Example: God, you are good. You are faithful. You are light. You are sovereign. You are always there, you are always near.

2. Me.

   • Next, be honest with where you’re at. God knows it all, and there’s no point hiding yourself. Really search your heart.

   • Who are you? How do you feel? What do you think about yourself?

   • Example: I am so broken. I feel so lost without you. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I need you so badly.

3. Please.

   • Don’t be afraid of asking God for anything. If you’re not sure it’s right to ask, ask it anyway and God will reveal the answer to you.

   • What do you want to ask God for? What does your heart want?

   • Example: Please, can you fix me? Can you give me joy? Can you help me to trust you when it is hard? Can you heal my hurt?

4. Thank you.

   • Finally, end with your focus on God again. Even if you can’t think of anything in the present to thank Him for, you can always thank Him for His love.

   • What can you thank God for? What do you actually want to thank God for?

   • Example: Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for being present with me. Thank you for your Son who died and rose again.

Whether or not you use this guided prayer, even if your prayer is simply ‘God, please answer me’ - be persistent in prayer, and I know God will answer you. That is not only my hope, but a promise from His Word as well.